


Journals of Madrid

by Beetlejuice23



Category: Amar Es Para Siempre, Luimelia, Luisita Gomez/Amelia Ledesma
Genre: Diary, F/F, Femslash, Journaling, LGBTQ, novela - Freeform, w|w
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-10-04 02:13:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17295764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beetlejuice23/pseuds/Beetlejuice23
Summary: In a critical time in her life, Luisita finds herself revisiting an old practice she’d long abandoned.





	1. A Vedette!

**Author's Note:**

> “Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time.” – Mina Murray, Dracula

Dear Journal,

I’ve missed you so much! I’ve missed telling you all about my hopes and dreams. Even about my failures and sorrows. Though our bond has been broken for quite awhile, now that I’m beginning a new chapter in my life, I find myself compelled to return to you; compelled to resume our nightly rendezvous. I have exciting news! I just finished my first full week as manager of The Kings!

Though this new responsibility has been a little overwhelming, I don’t think it will take too long for me to get used to it. The key to my success will depend on my ability to balance my job there with my occasional responsibilities helping grandpa at The Asturian. I’m hopeful that I can do both! Besides, Maria is counting on me and I don’t wanna let her down….even if she is annoying sometimes. I think she’s too soft on our staff. 

But anyway, enough about them! I met this really interesting woman today and I can’t stop thinking about her. Her name is Amelia (a teacher’s name she says) and she came in for a drink for the first time. She told me she’s a vedette. Can you believe it? That kind of career requires so much bravery…and talent. I think I’ll see her again soon. At least, I hope so. I am confident mom will be able to help her get her job back at the hotel.

Till next time.

 

Luisita

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not Spanish or even a regular viewer of this novela, but I love Luimelia and thought this would be fun. This fic is inspired by the conversation they had about Luisita’s journaling just before their first kiss. Some of the details in Luisita’s writings won’t be 100 percent consistent with the show canon, but do correct me if I make any kind of completely erroneous statement/assumption about Spanish culture. I do not wish to offend.


	2. Help Wanted

Dear Journal,

I come to you deeply distressed on this night. I recently convinced María to let me find some talent for the shows at the club. But I am, unfortunately, having no luck. The comedian I hired for the last show was so terrible! I seem to have underestimated the impact our small budget has on our ability to lure top talent. I promised María that I would hire someone better for the next show, but I honestly don’t know if that’s possible. Madrid, a land full of rich history and culture, suddenly seems so barren.

I thought of Amelia, the beautiful vedette, and wondered if she’d be my saving grace. But I was too late. She’s already working elsewhere, in addition to being back at the hotel. I will admit that I am slightly disappointed at this. Well, happy for her. But disappointed for our club. Though I’ve never seen her perform, I get the feeling that she’s wonderful at what she does. I’ve never been interested in such shows before, but I find myself longing to see one of her performances. We are becoming fast friends, so it may happen sooner than I could’ve imagined.

Well, I suppose I should get some rest now. Tomorrow is a big day. I will leave Miguel in charge of The Kings and hope that he doesn’t burn it down as I walk about the city; searching for good, cheap talent. Just before nightfall, I received word that The Flequis are in the city. They will be my first stop tomorrow morning! If they agree to perform, the day will perhaps not be as long as I anticipated.

Till next time.

 

Luisita

 


	3. Teamwork Makes The Dream Work

Dear Journal,

The pleasure that comes with having a great day has made it easier than ever to write to you tonight. I feel so alive! I took a tremendous risk and it paid off. I was successful in my bid to convince The Flequis to perform at our club. But soon afterward, Amelia came to me and revealed that she’d once again been hired by a man who ultimately proved to be a predator. I could hardly contain my anger when she told me the story. I hate that men, especially those in positions of power, know that they can treat women this way without facing any consequences. It’s utterly demoralizing…..but also enlightening, in a way, because it is precisely these moments that make me appreciate Leonor’s work even more.

Therefore, in light of this new development, I hastily fired The Flequis and asked Amelia to replace them. I know I probably shouldn’t have done that. Maria would’ve killed me had we not earned so much money. But the fact is, I couldn’t help it. When I fired The Flequis, I wasn’t thinking about how Maria would react. I was thinking about Amelia and how dejected she looked. I just wanted to make her happy again. I wanted her to know that she didn’t have to give up on her love for singing and dancing because of a few dirty, exploitative men.

Besides, as I told you before, she was my first choice anyway. It didn’t seem right to settle for a lesser act ~~when I could have someone~~  when The King’s could have someone better. And despite our initial disagreement, Maria later agreed. After we closed for the night, she told me that our total revenue for the day was double the amount we usually earn! Isn’t that incredible? I’m so pleased with myself for following my instinct and doing what I thought was right. I owe Amelia a great debt for justifying my decision with an amazing performance…..and it is a debt I fully intend to pay with more than just money. ~~~~ ~~~~

Till next time.

 

Luisita


	4. Enlightenment

Dear Journal,

Tonight, I write to you with a great sense of relief. A wise woman once wrote, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love and friendship, among other things.” Though I did not understand this saying when I first encountered it, its meaning was finally made clear to me today. My dear grandpa is in danger of losing The Asturian because of my aunt Clara’s failing business. As it is collateral, the bank is expected to seize it in three days if we cannot come up with the funds required to repay the family’s debt. Since receiving this news, Maria and I have been doing everything we can to help. But I fear our efforts may be in vain. We simply do not have enough money to give.

Though I’ve been doing my best to hide my despair at this situation, earlier in the day, I felt an overwhelming desire to be transparent. As Amelia stood across from me at the bar, her brown eyes peering into mine, imploring me to be open with her, I couldn’t help but share my worries. It’s strange. Though the problem still remains, I suddenly feel much better; much lighter. There’s something about Amelia that puts me at ease and I’m struggling to understand what it is. I know many kind people and I have many kind friends, but I am not as comfortable with them as I am with her.

I should, perhaps, stop prodding at this. After all, things are not always as complex as we sometimes think they are. Trustworthy people are hard to find, so I will focus on enjoying this friendship for as long as it lasts. Today, because of our conversation, I learned that vulnerability is more of a strength than a weakness. It draws people closer and paves the way for so many wonderful things. Love and deep friendship, included.

Till next time.

  
Luisita


	5. Boogeyman

Dear Journal,

Tonight, or rather, this morning, I write to you in a state of restlessness. Though I am usually asleep by this late hour, sleep has not yet found me. I hate nights like this because they force me to think about things that make me sad. You spend all day working, talking, eating, seeing, and exploring. And then, when the silence of the night arrives, if sleep does not come, you’re suddenly left without distraction as demons knock upon the door of your mind. For me, when the distractions fade, my insecurities are what move to the forefront.

Why don’t I have a boyfriend? Why can’t I find a career that suits me? Am I destined to serve drinks at the club my whole life? I wish these things didn’t bother me, but they do. I know I’m still young, but I feel so much pressure to find the answers to these questions. I am not in Barcelona anymore and Lola isn’t here. It’s time for me to grow up and finally figure what I want and what I need. I still don’t really know how I’m going to do that, but I will say that Maria and Amelia inspire me almost everyday. I look up to them so much and I appreciate everything they do to encourage me and help me better understand myself.

Though Maria and Ignacio are having a tough time right now, I still aspire to find someone I can love as much as Maria loves him. And with Amelia…I aspire to be as passionate about something as she is about performing. She’s been refining one of her old shows over the last couple of days (“The Dance of the Seven Veils,” she calls it) and watching her talk about it has been a wonderful delight. I am sure that I could listen to her for days without growing tired. But anyway, my eyes are suddenly becoming heavy as I write this, so I suspect sleep is finally on its way. Thank you for always being here.

Till next time.

 

Luisita

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all.


	6. Guapa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :) This journal entry is based on the talk they had in Part 11 (check Mr90ish on Dailymotion). If you don’t remember it, you may wanna watch before reading. It’s up to you tho ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Dear Journal,

It is with a full heart that I write to you on this beautiful night! I know it’s technically not a beautiful night because of how terrible the weather is right now. But I feel quite beautiful at the moment, so I feel compelled to classify the night as such. It wasn’t that long ago that I came to you in despair because of my self-doubt. But as of right now, I am pleased to report that I feel much better. I am rejuvenated and ready to take on the world like never before….and it’s all because of Amelia; my enchanting vedette. I spent some time with her today and, I swear to you, her words to me were like medicine for the hidden wounds of my soul.

I am amazed that someone so talented and beautiful would think so highly of me. It makes me feel so…incredible and invincible; like I can do anything I put my mind to. Though the darkest part of my mind wants to convince me she was merely exaggerating, I’ve known her long enough to know that she’s very genuine and careful about the way she chooses her words. I could feel her authenticity radiating from her eyes; reassuring me, even when I tried to downplay her compliments. I still remember her exact words: “You are so nice, beautiful, and intelligent. What you have is worth much more than the talents you admire.”

For a long time, I thought I’d never be as successful as Maria. I thought that I would always be the sister that never quite measured up; the failure. But when Amelia said this to me, she somehow managed to single-handedly wipe away the feelings of inadequacy that had been plaguing me since I was a teenager. I don’t know how long these feelings will remain at bay, but I’m thankful to Amelia for giving me some clarity and for helping me see that my life shouldn’t be about competing with or keeping up with my sister.

I’m special because I’m me and I should be proud of that, even if I’m not necessarily where I think I should be; professionally or personally. The other day, Amelia called me her guardian angel. But the truth is that I view her as mine. I can sense an incredible change happening within me almost every time we talk and I know that her presence in my life will only to lead to great things...maybe even things I never could have imagined.

Till next time.

  
Luisita

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all. This fandom is truly the best.


	7. A Toast: To Freedom!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy sorry for the delay with this. I will look to post more often...possibly two entries at a time in some instances. I love you all and I hope you’re doing well! <3

Dear Journal,

I can hardly believe everything that’s happened since I last wrote to you! I have so much to say! Yesterday evening, I unexpectedly found myself ON STAGE, PERFORMING WITH AMELIA. CAN YOU BELIEVE? After her original dance partner broke her foot and after Ignacio’s friend flaked out at the last minute, I was forced to step in and help save the performance! I was so scared at first because I’m obviously not a dancer. But once the music began playing, everything came so easily to me because of how much I’d practiced it before.

I honestly still can’t believe I did it. The audience was so great and everyone was clapping for us so much. The joy I felt in that moment…and the joy I continue to feel now is almost indescribable. I don’t even care that Maria was annoyed. I just keep replaying everything in my mind; my movements, Amelia’s movements, how in sync we were. I truly couldn’t have done it without her. In the end, despite my fear, her training and her support is what ultimately helped me do my best. She believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself, so I’m happy to have proved her right!

I’m also happy to report that I think I’ve finally figured out what I want to do! I’ve been in denial about this for a long time. But after dancing with Amelia and talking to her about our performance, I could no longer keep this desire buried. I want to be a performer. I want to act. I’ve known for a long time, but…I never thought I’d be good enough, especially compared to Maria. But now, I feel like if I work at it, I might have a real chance at doing it successfully. Acknowledging this has been such a huge weight off my shoulders. And Maria has already been so supportive! She’s even going to let me go with her to her next audition! Gosh, freedom from fear is truly the best feeling!

Till next time.

 

Luisita

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. Can you believe some people still think Luisi tops?? In this economy?? Lol xD


	8. Et tu, Amelia?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi

Dear Journal,

Today, I come to you at dawn instead of at dusk. In fact, I am at the beach. Alone.

After what happened yesterday, I needed some time to myself; some time to think. I was very angry, but now, more than anything, I’m just feeling hurt. I’ve always enjoyed nature, so I thought that coming here…and watching the sun rise would at least provide some comfort to my bleeding heart. I wanted to write to you last night, but I was shaking so much, I could barely hold a pen. Even now, I feel slightly uneasy as I write, but I’ll keep going anyway because I know I won’t feel better, otherwise.

I don’t even know where to start, honestly. I just feel so betrayed. I feel like I have no one in my corner; no one that truly believes in me. As you know, I’ve always been fairly insecure, so my support system has always been very important to me. I need people that can help me silence the small voice in my head, constantly telling me I’m not good enough. I need people to believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself. I thought Maria and Amelia understood that. I thought they understood how much I needed their support yesterday. But I was wrong. They don’t understand.

I know I’m not the greatest actress in the world, but I’m trying my best. Even if they didn’t think I was that good, I’m hurt that they waited this long to tell me; that they showed me their true feelings in this way. I feel so humiliated. All I can think about is them laughing behind my back, mocking me. I know I shouldn’t think that about Maria, but anything is possible at this point. I never thought Amelia would betray me like this, yet here we are. I honestly don’t even want to see either of their faces right now. I want to resign as manager of El Kings and leave Madrid. Maybe even go back to Barcelona. I think I was happier there. More care-free. I’m tired of giving a shit.

Til next time.

 

Luisita

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all.


End file.
